hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
