the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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