I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
