she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
