and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
