Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize