Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he fucked my hip out of place.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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