I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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