why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
