You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
