You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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