do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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