just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
