I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
