Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
