Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i believe in u and ur pee
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