my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
