The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
