How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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