He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
