so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
