Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
