Rock
Scissors
Fuck
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
