Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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