He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
