Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Blood and glitter go together right?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
