16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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