Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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