he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
