Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
