he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I enjoy the company of your penis
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
