Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
