I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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