Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
