morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
