no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
