you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
