I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
