My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
