i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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