she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
