then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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