mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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