you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You're a waste of cheezeits
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize