It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
why do cheetos always look like penises
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
