All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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