i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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