So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
