they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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