at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
