Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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