shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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