you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
