You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
