Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
