all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
