There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
