For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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