so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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