My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
