My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
