sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
