did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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