i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
