Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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