Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
