only you would photoshop your dick
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Randomize
