Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
