He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
