its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
