I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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