singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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