before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
