then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
